Parable Of A Leaping Tiger

An old man named Hegbert once made a wise comment that would pass down the generations and be spread throughout the land. Hegbert said, “A heap of yellow tigers are neither helpful nor financially viable”. Obviously the words of great wisdom have been changed somewhat through the years and what he actually said has been lost. Completely. Unless maybe someone carved it into a piece of bread and hid it in a hidden forest on an island that doesn’t technically exist in the middle of an ocean that has never been explored. But I'd say that's quite unlikely, wouldn't you?

A small piece of marmite slowly oozed its way out of Laura's sandwich and under pressure from a hefty tomato and a crumpled cucumber slice, it slipped off and tumbled through the air. A fraction of a second later there was a soft "splat" sound as it splattered spectacularly across the map she was staring at.

"Oh gawd!" She exclaimed angrily and quickly began attempts to absorb the thick substance from the battered old parchment. With the majority of the mixture cleaned up she left her sandwich and focused herself on the marmite streaked map.

A lot of boring things happened then for quite a long time which I won’t go into because there not very interesting.

3 years later however, things began to spice up a little and on the island of Munchable Hornets, Laura was searching for the original words of wisdom. It was a wonderful place. Everywhere she looked there was a new animal. The Himmblopotamoose was a favourite. Always sprinting around, always headless. The Man Spoon cracked her up to. It was basically a little spoon with arms, legs and glasses. Brilliant. Anyway, we could spend centuries discussing the various creatures that dwell on the Island of Munchable Hornets, so on with the story.

After a long hard trek, Laura found herself outside the Grand Temple of Match Ing Sticks. It was in fact made of match sticks that matched exactly. Took a long time to build methinks.

She entered the dark, frightening, daunting, booby trapped temple, picked up the piece of bread and left.

Out in the bright sunlight she began to read out the engraving in the bread. At that moment, a large gust of wind blew the bread into the mouth of a passing Yeti who swallowed it whole. “Yum!” He said.

This story had absolutely nothing to do with a leaping tiger.